Some people can’t wait to get feedback on how they are going at work and actively seek it out. Others learn over time to listen to feedback and ideas from others and use the information constructively. In our experience, there are a small group of people who find listening to feedback hard and this may be evident if they argue and defend their position rather than listen to the views of others.
What might be underlying a defensive response?
• Most feedback received feels like criticism even if not intended as such
• The only feedback the person receives is when things go wrong.
• Feedback fatigue from having too much feedback
• Feeling overwhelmed by work demands and a sense that feedback is not appropriate in a context where demands are high and resources are low
• Not having a robust sense of self identity
• Not being listened to in other contexts.
Here are some tips for helping people gain value, energy and motivation from helpful and constructive feedback:
• Stick to feedback about performance and do not personalise it. It is important to talk about the task and if the work (task, project, behaviour) has been done well to give praise. If not done well it is important to be clear and specific about how it could improve. Most often this should be a two way conversation.
• Feedback needs to be timely and well timed. It is useful to make a commitment to notice when people are doing well or have done a good job and give detailed and genuine acknowledgement of the work and the results. Pick your moment to give feedback.
• Just as important as not waiting too long to give feedback is to not give a continuous stream of feedback – it can wear people out. Save it up for the weekly/fortnightly/monthly wrap-up and review meeting.
• Talk about priorities, workarounds, process improvement and useful resources such as templates and examples of good work so the conversation recognises that time, efficient work practices and resources are key to our ability to perform well.
• A good rule of thumb is the old motto of ‘twice as much listening and half as much talking’ as a way to think about feedback discussions. Defensiveness might be a fair response to being told what to do rather than being listened to with focus.
• It is very powerful to show empathy for some-one else’s viewpoint. After listening carefully and clearly showing empathy for any concerns that are raised, then two way problem solving discussions can productively begin.
• It is usually appropriate to say to some-one ‘here is how I see it’ and then allow people to have time and space for thinking and to allow them to make a decision about what to do with the information contained in the feedback.
How well do you listen to the suggestions and ideas of others?
How can you help some-one in your team better listen to the feedback and the ideas of others?
We can help your team to develop better communications skills, including listening well, giving constructive feedback to others, showing empathy and having conversations about challenging issues. If you would like to discuss this further, you can contact us at robyn.mercer@bravesolutions.com.au or tulsi.vandegraff@bravesolutions.com.au.