At some point we’ll all probably need to raise a sensitive topic with some-one. The very fact that it is a sensitive topic usually means there is a personal element to the conversation. Even if it isn’t something we relish doing, most of us know we have to face a tough conversation about a sensitive conversation at some point.
We know that how the topic is raised is important and it sets the scene. It is also important to ensure the voice tone and the language of the conversation are moderate and encouraging. I recently found a small and pretty old brochure called Problem Gambling in the Workplace[1]. Now that is a sensitive topic! It contains a section on How to broach the subject that expresses very what works and the approach can be applied to pretty much any sensitive topic. I’ve reproduced it here:
It is difficult raising something like problem gambling with an employee. The following communication techniques will help make the conversation effective:
- Normalise the conversation by acknowledging that sometimes having a difficult conversation is necessary in the workplace.
- Express facts, thoughts, feelings and beliefs without placing blame.
- Focus on I rather than You statements
- Listen actively to what the employee has to say by paraphrasing and summarising
- Be understanding – acknowledge the emotions present.
- Plan your responses beforehand based on how the employee is likely to react.
The following is an example of how you can broach the subject with an employee.
I’d like to talk to you about a sensitive issue. I feel it’s important we talk about this because I am concerned about you. You are a valued employee and colleague here, and that is not going to change.
I’ve notice you have seemed stressed/depressed/anxious/ distracted/ not yourself of late. Would you mind if I asked you some questions to find out a little bit more about your situation, and if there is anything I can do to help? Please know that I’ll keep your answers totally confidential.
Then the conversation can begin. An opening like this is more likely to create the environment for a successful conversation than launching straight into a series of questions. In our leadership development work, we encourage people to prepare for important conversations and most especially if they are sensitive ones. It is also useful to have some support resources available to people.[2]
Can a manager talk about a significant personal issue like this? We think so, as long as the intent is to support the person and when you can see that the issue is having an affect on the person. Just one point of care – ensure this conversation stays on topic and doesn’t get caught up with performance discussions.
What sensitive topics have you broached in the workplace?
[1] NSW Government OLGR
[2] www.gamblinghelp.nsw.gov.au